in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
