used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
