I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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