Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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