I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
