just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
