Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
