I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
