I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
