just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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