I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
