Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You pole danced in your parka.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
