4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
