just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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