there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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