morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
