just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
