she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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