This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
