whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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