he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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