you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
