What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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