He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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