your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
