Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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