Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
