dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
