Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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