If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Fuck appropriateness.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
