I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
