I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
