Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i need some magic done to my vagina
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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