loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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