You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
