1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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