guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
