she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
