All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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