I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
