we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
