How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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