Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
