i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
it was like eating out sand paper
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
