as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
