Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
