can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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