Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
