May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
