So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
