I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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