Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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