I am in a vortex of obligation.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
