i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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