I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
accomplished twins. life is a go
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
