and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
