I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
